The Fam

The Fam

Monday, February 16, 2009

Are you starring in your own movie?

My Sunday trip to Wal-mart was an annoying reminder of how oblivious people are to their surroundings. So, in an attempt to do my part in the betterment of humanity, I will point out 10 annoyances that sign you think you are starring in your own movie while grocery shopping.

10. Rather than taking the most direct route from the exit to the parking lot (or vice versa), you leisurely stroll diagonally while simultaneously pushing your cart, talking on your cell phone, smoking a cigarette, and dragging your toddler behind you.
9. While scoping out the cereal, you leave your cart parked directly in the middle of the aisle. If you are especially annoying, the cart is parked horizontally. Even after three "excuse mes", you still don't notice that someone is trying to get by until the cart is "accidentally" rammed bumped into you.
8. Chancing a hungry vagrant might be grocery shopping that day, you leave your child's half-chewed chicken nugget in the middle of the bread aisle.
7. Express check-out = 15 items or less. Self check-out = ASSUMED 15 items or less.
6. Ooops! I forgot just one thing! Or, ooops, I left my wallet in the car! Need I say more?
5. Kids on wheels. Really? Must your child skate down the aisles in his Heelys pushing your cart 30 mph while you obliviously decide between Cheddar or Swiss?
4. You have not recognized we are in the 21st century and write checks. You are especially annoying if you begin the actual check-writing process after every item has been scanned, bagged, and placed into your cart.
3. Checkout belt hogs. Your items should be placed on the belt as close together as possible, and non-breakables stacked. If you have placed your items on the conveyor belt, MOVE out of the way.
2. Your milk selection process goes like this: you prop the door open with your cart, thus blocking the way for any other potential 1% milk buyers; You then proceed to dig through your purse for your reading glasses; Once you find your reading glasses, you pull out the front 2 milk jugs from every milk slot to ensure you find that one jug that expires 2 days later than the rest.
1. You sneeze something into your hand, proceed to examine it, wipe it on your pants, then sift through the zucchini with the same snotty hand.


Other than the dreaded weekly Wal-Mart trip, we had a great weekend.
On Saturday, we saw "Deep Sea" at the Omni Theatre in Ft Worth. Correction, Thade, Adalae, and I saw "Deep Sea". After 5 minutes, Reed was freaked out so they spent the rest of the movie outside climbing up and down a flight of stairs (love ya Rustin!).

Warner is so right about how differently your Valentine Day is celebrated once children come along. Saturday night for the Gradke family was spent at a nail-biting 11 year old basketball game, then a romantic dinner at Taco Bell drive-thru.

Rustin was so sweet and delivered flowers to my office on Friday for Valentine's day. Saturday morning, I gave Rustin his V-Day card and a box of chocolate. 20 minutes later, after I showered, I came into the kitchen to find my V-day surprise. Along with a sweet card, Rustin re-gifted the box of chocolates I had given him 20 minutes before.

Should I say, "It's the thought that counts."?

Or should I teach my husband proper re-gifting etiquette?

4 comments:

Vanson's Mom said...

Jeeez! I'm still laughing. I LOVE reading your blog but today's was extra hilarious! My personal favorite was the sneezing in the hand and then sifting through the zucchini. Ugggh! But I also loved how Rustin regifted the chocolates. Now that's about as romantic as a trip to Taco Bell. Ha! Love it!

Mommy to 3 said...

This post is so funny. I thought you might enjoy this link... http://bitsandpieces.us/2008/10/29/wal-mart-bingo/ I swear last time I was at Wal-mart I had a full card. I really need to meet you in person next time you guys are in AZ. :) Christa

Warner said...

If these were in numerical order of how irritating, I'd put check writing at the top. Seriously!?! It's 2009!

The Potts Family said...

I totally hate Walmart. I think all idiots go to the grocery store, but the dumbest of them all are at Walmart.
I'm sure I'm one of those irritating people, though. While I do think I'm very conscientious of others, I do spend a lot of time selecting my products. I will stare at the rice selection for a full five minutes before deciding between Uncle Ben's Wild Rice or organic plain brown rice. Then I walk away with no rice at all....because I can't decide between them and do I really need rice? Will we eat it this week?
This is why when I go to the grocery store I spend at LEAST an hour there. I analyze every item in my cart. But I do NOT write checks and I do NOT hog the conveyor belt.