I will get by, with a little help from my friends

The last couple of weeks have been especially trying for me. I don't really know why. I came back to "reality" from vacation in California to "realize" life goes on. I have really great days, then not so great days. But I have realized my bad days correspond with my "I can do this myself" attitude which distances me from God. I know He is good. I know He gives me strength. I know He has a plan for me. I know He will reveal His plan in His own time. Problem is, patience is NOT one of my strengths.

But He is faithful and He gives me just what I need, just when I need it.  This weekend has been blessed. Truly a God-breathed weekend. My best friend and sister in Christ Leslie came to lift me up Friday night. She thought she was coming for a free dinner but ended up counseling me until midnight.  Rustin and I had lunch on Saturday with Chris and Stacie Hatchett.  Chris is our minister and we really look up to he and Stacie.  They both had some great words for me and I left lunch feeling better than I had in weeks.  Then Saturday night at Leslie's suggestion, Rustin and I watched Soul Surfer.  Soul Surfer is the true story of Bethany Hamilton, a pro-surfer that lost her arm in a shark attack.  Through her unwavering faith in God, she went on to surf competitively, serve others in His name and has been an inspiration to many around the world.  This morning in class, we heard the story from a brother in Christ about how God worked in his life through forgiveness on those that trespass on us. Tonight, we had the fortune to have dinner with the Washburns.  Sharon Washburn has decided to cease treatment for the cancer that is ravishing her body.  You can read her story here.  Sharon is one of the most amazing women I've had the pleasure to know!  God continues to answer no to her prayers for healing, her disease has progressed considerably leaving her unable to do things we take for granted every day.  Yet she sat there lifting ME up.  And she and Mike have been praying for ME everyday.  Sharon said something that really stuck with me.  Well she said lots of things that will stick with me but one thing I especially want to share.  She said, "Your kids are watching how you handle this."  How true is this although it's not crossed my mind.  This is my chance to praise Him even in the face of adversity; to be an example to my children.  Talk about perspective.

I'm in awe.  I shouldn't expect anything less from Him but it's still amazing every time he does this.  Here's the deal.  The last few weeks have been so much harder because my heart was hardening and I could feel the evil one planting those seeds of fear and doubt while I'm most vulnerable.  And how God fought back for me!  He gave Leslie, Chris, Stacie and Sharon just the words I needed to hear over the last 2 days.  None of them could have known in just what way the devil has attacked me.  I didn't have to say anything.  Because He knows.  And He loves me, no doubt. 

I am a woman who did not get her way. But Lord, I choose to follow you no matter what.