It hardly seems right my first post in over a year is about this. Believe me, my life has been full of awesomeness this past year. The past week just happens to have sucked, big time. Losing a body part has created such a strange mix of emotions. One minute I'm hit with the realization that my physical appearance is forever changed. But then I remember it's not forever and in heaven, I'll be perfect and look just like Jesus. It's weird - although this freaky thing happened to me and at times I feel like I'll never be the same, at the same time I've never felt more blessed. And I definitely know now that everyone here on earth loves me just the same, freaky hand or not. Rustin has truly been perfect during this storm. My kids are amazing and Thade has actually started hanging out with mom again (on his own will!). My sweet, sweet mother in law, PJ, hopped the first plane to Dallas the night it happened to help us that week. My Mom calls me every day. My sister in law, Barbara, sleeps in cold, stinky, hospital room chairs with nothing more than a beach towel and takes me to Dr. appointments. Our friends bring us food and prayers and sweet words of comfort every single day. My work family has been so supportive and flexible with my needs. I could go on and on.
My sweet friend Kelli sent me this verse last week and I read it everyday.
There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Romans 5:3-5
I know God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. And I may not understand today what I should be alert for, but believe me, I'm alert. I do believe this seemingly tragic experience is preparing me for something bigger than a finger.
Now for the medical update and prayer requests. And please pray because I promise God is listening. So my stud... (I think I vomit a little in my mouth anytime I hear the word stump now so I will call it a stud. sounds much more attractive, don't you think?). The skin flap the surgeon used to cover the top of my stud is dead. We plan to watch it a few more days in hopes there is new skin forming underneath and the dead skin will eventually scab and come off. Otherwise, I'll need another surgery for a skin graft. So please pray for healing. I just don't know if I can take another surgery right now.
I have my 1st physical therapy appointment tomorrow. I saw the therapist at my surgeon's office Tues and she gave me hand exercises to work on. Lemme tell you, it is painful getting this hand working again. I could really use some prayers for strength and the willpower to keep up with this therapy.
Lastly, say a little prayer for Rustin. Or while you're at it, send him a note telling him to keep up the good work because he deserves some serious love. Emotionally, I am getting better every day. And I owe much of that progress to my sweet husband who remembers to tell me how much he loves me, and often. After all, it is just a finger.
