I probably should be fired.

It's been more than a year since I blogged. I probably should be fired from this gig. But's it's 8:34 and my entire family (minus the teenager) is in bed so I figure I'll give it a go. My friend Sarah posted a blog about the evolution of pregnancies.  And I read it last night after church where the baby crawled around on the ground eating crackers (off the ground of course) and some random lady was very concerned about this runaway baby, and the absence of socks on her feet, frantically looking for her mother until I dismissively waved to her and said, "oh she's mine, don't mind her digging through your purse."  Unless you have a knife in there.  But really, only if it's one of those really sharp  knives.  So, anyway, Sarah got me thinking about the evolution of raising children.

Child #1: Don't touch the baby.  Only if you have showered, washed your hands, and sanitized may you touch the baby.  And then you can only touch her feet.
Child #4: Please touch the baby.  If you have some leftover Popsicle on your fingers she can lick to entertain her, by all means, please insert your fingers in my baby's mouth.

Child #1: Baby proof at 37 week gestation.  Everything must have a cover, latch, lock.
Child #4: Baby proof when baby attempts to insert fork in socket.  When baby learns 6 short weeks later to remove the cover, take lots of pictures.  You guys, I must document this genius baby of mine.

 Baby #1: First birthdays.  You guys, Thade had a special outfit purchased just for the occasion.  I labored over his cake for 2 days.  There was a theme.  Like everything matched.  Reed got the same treatment, I think.  (cut my memory some slack I was 8 months pregnant with Adalae).  I can't even remember Adalae's first birthday.  There might be pictures of it somewhere on our computer where every photo taken for the last 10 years remains stored and unprinted.
Baby #4:  I've been asked what I'm going to do for Rowan's birthday so let's see.  Rowan turns one on the day that Thade graduates high school.  (OMG) I'll go to project graduation all night Friday, then host a birthday party, followed by a graduation party on Saturday.  I was feeling proud to get a paper invitation in the snail mail for all of these festivities.  What will we do at these parties you ask?  I HAVE NO IDEA.  We will eat cake and open presents.  My only aspiration is too be awake.

Baby #1:  I am not kidding, but I bathed Thade EVERY TIME he ate.  Meal, snack, it didn't matter. That baby was squeaky clean 100% of the time.
Baby #4: Gets a bath on spaghetti night.  And maybe a bonus bath in the kitchen sink with the dish soap if I'm feeling particularly ambitious.

PACI......  There is no such thing as a dirty paci.

But I do have to admit, the rules for all the children become much more relaxed when there are so many of them.  I mean, I might've put up more of a fight for Thade's prom outfit if these people of mine didn't suck the life out of me  request my love and attention for all of the time of all of the days.

Stunning isn't he?