I've been thinking a lot lately about my flaws. I have big feet (size 10 - be jealous! - because I know you size 8s never get the cute shoes because the other 90% of the population wears your size). I'm not the healthiest person in the world. I'm not even the 132,000th healthiest person in the world. I have stretch marks and wrinkles and sun spots and scar on my legs. I have a "flawed" hand with only 4 and 1/3 fingers. I forget people's birthdays. I called my dad on December 3rd to wish him happy birthday. His birthday is December 6th. I forget what I did five minutes ago for that matter. But I'm finding myself less and less concerned with these flaws. Because Jesus doesn't care! He loves me if I choose not to run every night because I'd rather hang out with my kids and husband. He loves those kids that gave me all my stretch marks. He loves that my flawed hand helped me to fall head over heels in love with Him. And thankfully, He gave me a husband that remembers important dates and where I left my phone. Our God is an awesome God.
2011 will certainly be a year to remember for this Gradke family. I've lost body parts and people I love and a sense of myself at times. But what I've gained outweighs the heartache tenfold! I've grown closer to Him, to my family, and to so many fabulous friends that encourage me. I've met new people and have been able to help some of them. Our marriage is solid as a rock and my kids are watching Rustin and I follow Christ as best as we know how.
I want to share some highlights from the last 2 weeks (mostly because I don't remember much past then).
I got my prosthetic this week. I am a happy girl! The artists did an amazing job. Did you know your skin changes colors 10,000x per day. Try this: raise one hand in the air and hang one by your side for 10 seconds. Look at the difference in colors. That being said, the prostetic never really matches my skin perfectly. However, I do believe it's better than the black glove/hair roller solution I fashioned. So I'm content.
Like my ring? $7.88 at Wal-mart and it can be yours! Speaking of rings, I went to see my jeweler today. He is working with me to design a ring. Now I just need to convince my husband to pay for it. Here is what it would look like, sort-of. My diamond would sit in it and the band would be thicker to cover the seam of my prosthetic.
I saw what is left of my ring this weekend for the first time since the accident. To be honest, it was hard. My stomach turned, the lump closed off my airway and then the tears started flowing.
It's hard to see, but my engagement ring is in the same oval shape as the wedding band. I had another wedding band (one on each side) but I suppose the fish in Lake Grandbury are playing ring toss with it now. I loved my wedding ring. I never took it off. I mean NEVER. I showered with it, I slept with it, I laked with it. I've been waiting a long time to be able to wear it again. Although it won't be the same ring, it will still hold the same meaning. That I belong to Rustin, that he is my best friend and my husband.
Our tenants are terminating their lease early which means we are paying 2 mortgages starting Feb 1. We've decided to move back into our Bedford home which means we need to sell our HOUSE. <---- click and forward to all your friends! Thade is ecstatic about moving back to our old neighborhood. All of his friends are in the area. The kids will love the pool this summer too.
Schubert has been up to no good the last couple of weeks.
Can someone please invent an Elf on the Shelf solution for year round? Schubert is keeping my kids in check! Well, he is keeping Reed in line. Adalae isn't buying it.
I completed a little art project I found on Pinterest.
Reed and Adalae's school Christmas program. You won't be dissapointed if you watch through to Adalae's performence. She basically picked her nose and jumped up and down the entire time. It was aswesomesauce.
I have much to be thankful for. I could write pages and pages on all the greatness of my life. God has blessed me with family and friends that I love with all my heart. Most of all, I am thankful for His grace and perfect love. I am nothing without Him.
I started this post this morning waiting at my surgeon's office for my surgery follow up. I wrote about how the surgery went well and about all the work I have yet before me to get this hand functioning. And how frustrating it is, but how I know God has this! And then I started writing about Sharon, because she and her family has been in my thoughts without pause. And now I've just deleted everything to start over.
I am blessed. I don't deserve 10 fingers, or even 2 arms. But by the grace of God, I have 2 arms and 9 fingers. I have legs and I am healthy. I have 3 wonderful, healthy children and a husband that loves me just as God calls him to. I am fortunate enough to have more income than 95% of the people in this world (and you do too if your household income is more than $35K). I am a talented recruiter and somewhat charasmatic juggler. Well, I juggled once in high school anyway. The point is, what am I doing with my dash? Gene Stallings spoke at an event I attended yesterday and he talked about our dash. The dash is the symbol that has the most meaning on a tombstone. It's the symbol between your birth and your death.
Today, we say goodbye to an amazing woman who did a whole lot with her dash. Sharon Washburn went home to receive her eternal reward today.
Isn't she beautiful? Always thinking of others, Sharon covered up the ridiculous glove I had to wear just after surgery for this photo. This was taken 8 days ago. It seems like 8 years ago I miss her so much already. I'm not worried about Sharon. She was so excited about the people she would meet in heaven. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, friends and family that had passed from this earthly world. She was so amazing, it's no wonder Jesus could wait for her no longer. But I know she will miss her husband Mike and her precious daughters, Randi and Taylor. Please pray for them. It would bring me great joy to know my blog readers pray for her family, even if you don't know her.
I believe God wrote this chapter in my life a billion, trillion, gazillion more years ago than I can even fathom. I pray that I keep my ears and eyes open to follow His plan as best I know how. He has big plans for my dash. This I know without a doubt. I'm sharing my story in our class at The Hills Southlake Campus on Sunday. The good, bad and ugly. But it's mostly good because God's plan is good!
I'm having surgery on Thursday to release a tendon in my hand that is stuck in scar tissue. Although it's outpatient and relatively minor, I will be under general anesthesia. So, now my mind wanders to all the things that can go wrong, even in minor surgery, which then leads to thoughts of my family functioning without me (even if just for a few days). I'm afraid the people I love most might be lacking some basic life skills:
Replacing the toilet paper.
First, remove the spindle from the wall mount. To remove the spindle from the wall mount, grasp one end with your index finger and thumb. Gently pull the spindle toward the other end to release it from the mount. If you find yourself yanking the spindle, take a deep breath and try again. Slide the toilet paper roll onto the spindle and insert back into wall mount. Although a paper towel roll is much larger, do not be intimidated. Follow the steps above and you shall find victory!
Using the laundry hamper.
Although the hamper does not have any buttons or blinking lights, it is very useful. Simply lift the lid, place your dirty clothing in the pile, and gently close the lid. The lid will not snap at you or bite you. Do not place food or drink items in the laundry hamper.
Flushing the toilet.
Much like making the bed, I do understand the argument, “I’ll just be using it again later so why flush it?” This argument is reasonable if you live somewhere really dry like Saudi Arabia or Arizona with the fear you will soon run out of drinking water and need to scavenge some from the toilet. However, we live in the good ole state of Texas where we freely frolic in toilet water so while I will thank you for your conservation attempt, feel free to flush away.
The stove.
The stove has more uses than a resting place for book bags, science projects or your chip bowl. Did you know it gets hot? And that heat can warm up food? Simply push the knob down and turn. Don’t be alarmed or confused by the clicking noise. The clicking sound is not a timer, a rat in the wall, or the sound your Call of Duty UMP 45 Vector makes just as you blast the enemy to unrecognizable bits. The clicking sound lights the stove. Then simply pour your food into a pot, and wait for the magic to happen. For the “how to use a can opener” tutorial, click here.
Trash can uses.
We are not saving our popcorn boxes, chip bags or juice bottles to house our pet locust. Once you’ve consumed a food or drink product, it is perfectly acceptable to remove the bottle from the refrigerator, the bag from the pantry, or the half consumed cheese stick from your night stand and place it in the trash can. Directions to the trash can: Walk to the kitchen sink. Look 2.3 feet to your right. Open trash drawer. Drop trash in trash can. Close trash drawer. If your item rolls off the top of the overflowing trash pile and on to the floor, please do not kick it under the cabinet for someone to discover when a pack of ants have set up a tent and built a small fire next to their food source.
Eating off the floor.
Home: OK every other Thursday after housekeeper comes. Eat at your own risk every other day of the year.
Home patio: OK if the item was dropped within the hour and the ants are blown off.
Public bathroom: In the stall, not OK. Outside the stall, not OK. In fact, please do not take food in a public bathroom, ever.
Juice and soda consumption.
Just because it's not milk and contains sugar doesn't mean the entire bottle or 12 pack needs to be consumed in 24 hours from purchase. Unless it reads: BENADRYL. Then by all means, drink away!
Clippings.
Discard of your nail clippings as to avoid a puncture injury to unsuspecting feet passing by. Plus it's just gross. If you walked into the bathroom to find tampon wrappers and armpit shavings lying everywhere, you might find it bothersome.
I could complete this post with: I am blessed. God is good. That is all. But that's no fun for all our adoring fans, right? It's hard to know where to start, all the good stuff, even good stuff that brings so many tears at times. I've been so intentional about being quiet the last several weeks. I refuse to let work, friends, my health, even my family distract me from pursuing this stillness. I feel like I'm hearing Him, more clearly than I ever have before. And as a result of this intentional quietness, I feel that my work, my friends, my health and my family are receiving His blessings!
Although I currently have a sinus infection, I'm thankful for the drugs we have available to us today! 3 hours after a steroid and antibiotic shot, I feel a little like that time in middle school I took mini-thins - but a WHOLE LOT better. I returned to the office a couple weeks ago and everything has been great. Believe it or not, I've only had 2 people ask to see my finger. So I stick it in my ear to give the impression my non-existent entire finger is poking my big ole brain and then I sing, this little finger went to market, this little finger stayed home. I usually don't get much further before the poor unsuspecting fool slowly backs away, assuming I lost a bit more than a finger.
So speaking of fingers (or lack thereof), I'm doing well physically. I am healing, but it's such a slow process. I have some hand function deficiencies that do hinder my ability to perform basic tasks, like removing heavy pans from the oven and spinning a basketball on my ring finger. I am working hard in therapy 3x per week to gain as much function back as I can. I have a tendon stuck in scar tissue that has eliminated my ability to make a fist (or even close) and surgery is likely the only option to free it (although my therapist tries his best with his latest torture stretching techniques). But I'm electing to not have surgery for now. I'm determined to get my prosthetic as soon as possible because #1. I've met my out of pocket max for the year and #2. I can't wait to ask Thade's friends to "pull my finger".
Last week, I discovered that Reed has believed all this time that God would grow my finger back. I know it sounds silly, and I have to laugh a little especially since I joked about it needing periodic water and indirect sunlight, but it was more sad than anything. I've told him all summer how mommy will be fine, and that God is healing me. I obviously didn't realize what "healing" meant to my sweet Reed. I've had several talks with him since and he gets angry, and then sad. He really wants mommy's finger to grow back and it's so hard to explain to a 4 year old why it won't; and more importantly why it's OK that it doesn't. I just pray that God will give me the words to comfort my children and that they will know that I'm OK, that I'm better than OK, and that God is good. And I pray that all of this will soften their hearts when they encounter someone that is different. That they will will take a stand for those that are different and feel honored and proud to be their friend.
I learned last night that my sweet, precious niece Tatum, was charged this summer to pray for something, and to pray A LOT for it. That can be a tall order for a 5th grader who has lots of competing priorities like braiding hair and making bracelets (her bracelets are awesome!!). A short time after I had a huge forward step in my healing (new skin!), Barbara found out that I was the "thing" that Tatum had prayed for (Tatum didn't mention it before). And that Tatum had accepted this charge full on and prayed A LOT for me and specifically, for skin. I mean, come on God, how can you say no to Tatum? I know I can't, and am thankful He didn't either!
Sharon continues to inspire me daily. I love my visits with her and I think she likes me around sometimes. I find myself especially emotional after a visit with her (aforementioned tears). I know she is on her way home, and home is not her lovely house in Ft. Worth, but that doesn't make it anymore sad that we all have to finish our days here without her. Ok, so a little embarrassing to admit, but I feel like a Labrador around her. I want to lay at her feet, crawl in her lap (except I have more sense than a dog to know that my big ole butt would crush her!). Come on ya'll, I know I'm not the only one with this overwhelming urge and need to be in her presence so I expect some comments admitting your canine tendencies with Sharon Washburn! I've been praying for Sharon and why He has forged this strong connection between us just as her life here on earth is coming to an end. It's plainly obvious for me as Sharon has been such a source of strength for me, a mentor and example of what it is like to truly give it all to God and to be joyful and praise Him no matter what. And I definitely needed some of that this summer. But Sharon has no shortage of people that love her - and that she makes room for me is such a blessing. His plans are bigger than this, though. My sister-n-law Barbara had a word from God last night in my bathroom (you all know your best ideas are born in the 30 seconds of peace you have in the bathroom). Well she had 5 words - Sharon Washburn Center for Hope. So, I don't know what I'll do with the Center for Hope, but you better believe I'm getting involved. Unfortunately, I know too well where some of these ladies are coming from, and I also know what laying it all at the cross will do for them!
Sidebar - because my blog needs some proud mommy content:
Not only do I make gorgeous kids, I make gorgeous kids with big ole brains (just like my big ole brain as noted earlier). Not only can Reed say the pledge of alligience, he knows why we say it. In Reed's words, "We say the pledge of allegiance in honor of all the policeman who have died because it brings them back to life." Isn't that so true? He might be thinking about mummified policeman pulling mommy over for a speeding ticket, but I choose to believe he is genius and there is so much wisdom in his words. We say the pledge so that we remember what we stand for as a country and to remember those that have sacrificed for our freedom.
Check out Reed's reading skillz as he reads to RyRy. I'm not sure why there is so much background noise, we only had 6 kids in the house. (if you can summon enought patience to get through the first 20 seconds, background noise subsides) Mommy is so proud that he can memorize read a book!
I've decided to go back to the office next week if my Dr. says it's OK at my Tuesday appointment. You see, I work in an office with 250 people and somehow know ALL OF THEM. Needless to day, I have not been looking forward to the onslaught of concern and questions when I return. Sooooo, I put together some FAQs to hang on my wall in hopes I can answer your questions (without answering your questions of course).
Q: How did it happen? (choose one):
A:
a) A barracuda bit it off when I was deep sea diving in the Amazon. b) A rabid anorexic bit it off as I was offering her a doughnut.
c) You see, there was this baby on a train track (or was it a squirrel?) and the train was coming awfully fast…… oh look, a chicken!
Q:
Do you still HAVE the finger?
A: If using answer a: Yes – I actually was eating barracuda at a Chinese restaurant 3 weeks later and nearly choked on it. If using answer b: Yes- luckily I have been fully schooled on the Heimlich Maneuver and was able to dislodge it from her bony gullet. If using answer c: Yes and No – so here come da train and there was the squirrel and……… is that YOUR chicken?
Q: Which finger is it?
A: Don’t worry, “that finger” is still intact.
Q: Is there anything I can get for you?
A: Sure, I’ll have a finger Butterfinger please.
Q: Gee, did that hurt?
A: No not at all, I was on a local anesthetic as a precaution.
Q: Will it grow back?
A: Sure, it just needs periodic water and indirect sunlight.
Q: So, do you miss that finger?
A: You know, I thought I would but then I have discovered it isn’t very useful – not like the middle one or the pointer or the pinky when you are sipping tea with the classy Kardashians and that THUMB!!! Thinking about getting rid of the one on my other hand to get more streamlined.
The last couple of weeks have been especially trying for me. I don't really know why. I came back to "reality" from vacation in California to "realize" life goes on. I have really great days, then not so great days. But I have realized my bad days correspond with my "I can do this myself" attitude which distances me from God. I know He is good. I know He gives me strength. I know He has a plan for me. I know He will reveal His plan in His own time. Problem is, patience is NOT one of my strengths.
But He is faithful and He gives me just what I need, just when I need it. This weekend has been blessed. Truly a God-breathed weekend. My best friend and sister in Christ Leslie came to lift me up Friday night. She thought she was coming for a free dinner but ended up counseling me until midnight. Rustin and I had lunch on Saturday with Chris and Stacie Hatchett. Chris is our minister and we really look up to he and Stacie. They both had some great words for me and I left lunch feeling better than I had in weeks. Then Saturday night at Leslie's suggestion, Rustin and I watched Soul Surfer. Soul Surfer is the true story of Bethany Hamilton, a pro-surfer that lost her arm in a shark attack. Through her unwavering faith in God, she went on to surf competitively, serve others in His name and has been an inspiration to many around the world. This morning in class, we heard the story from a brother in Christ about how God worked in his life through forgiveness on those that trespass on us. Tonight, we had the fortune to have dinner with the Washburns. Sharon Washburn has decided to cease treatment for the cancer that is ravishing her body. You can read her story here. Sharon is one of the most amazing women I've had the pleasure to know! God continues to answer no to her prayers for healing, her disease has progressed considerably leaving her unable to do things we take for granted every day. Yet she sat there lifting ME up. And she and Mike have been praying for ME everyday. Sharon said something that really stuck with me. Well she said lots of things that will stick with me but one thing I especially want to share. She said, "Your kids are watching how you handle this." How true is this although it's not crossed my mind. This is my chance to praise Him even in the face of adversity; to be an example to my children. Talk about perspective.
I'm in awe. I shouldn't expect anything less from Him but it's still amazing every time he does this. Here's the deal. The last few weeks have been so much harder because my heart was hardening and I could feel the evil one planting those seeds of fear and doubt while I'm most vulnerable. And how God fought back for me! He gave Leslie, Chris, Stacie and Sharon just the words I needed to hear over the last 2 days. None of them could have known in just what way the devil has attacked me. I didn't have to say anything. Because He knows. And He loves me, no doubt.
I am a woman who did not get her way. But Lord, I choose to follow you no matter what.
Although I might end up deleting this post one day, like the post that forced my blog private so Thade could save face with his buddies, it's way too funny not to share. I'm sorry Reed, I'm sure you will spew obcentities at me when you (or your girlfriend) are old enough to google yourself. But just think of all those people you made giggle. You can thank Uncle RyRy for sending me such awesomeness. Love, Mom
So, beach vacation day #3 started off with a toe injury that sent me to urgent care. I had to have my big toenail removed. Defintely the 2nd most painful experience of my life. I may have drawn blood from Rustin. All I know is poor guy had to pry my fingers out of his hand. Can't go in the sand, have to cancel my ballet class, yada yada. At least I fulfilled my bucket list item of driving the scooter at Target.
Check out the toe sock. Matches my finger sock quite well. Since Memorial Day, I've sprained a shoulder tubing, injured my knee and wrist running, my hand/finger sliding off a dock, and now this. Maybe I just shouldn't leave the bed. Ever.
I know I'll have way more interesting pics from vacation to share than pitiful me on a scooter. Oh, except I haven't taken one yet. (I'll get right on that) Newport Beach is lovely as always. Perfect weather, beautiful beaches and great company. The kids are having a blast, I'm getting a tan, and my toenail will grow back so I shouldn't complain. But it still does hurt like, well, getting your toenail ripped out so I suppose I'll whine anyway!
I'm so glad you were born on this day 32 years ago. I think my life would suckbe much different if your mom decided enough is enough! after your brothers. Who would let the kids in bed with us? (they definitely know better than to show their face on mom's side at 2am). Who would find songs for me on iTunes? (nope - I never learned iTunes). Who would coach our sweaty teenager's basketball team? (um, when they make wine tasting a sport, I'm all in!). Who would tell me about the awesome TV shows I should be watching? (Breaking Bad most recently thank you very much). Who would play golf with such a pitiful and dreadful skilled, accomplished and somewhat charasmatic woman such as myself? Who would shave my right armpit in the shower when I didn't have use of my left hand? (I'm sure in your humbleness you are silently begging me to stop here) So- most importantly, who would love me just the way I am in just the perfect way? You are my best friend. I love you.
One thing I've always wanted to try besides Botox, Taming a wild hawk guitar lessons is shock therapy. Well, today I got my chance! What a weird (and not so comfortable) experience. Basically, they hook you up to these nodes kinda like they do to crazy people in movies. Except I didn't get to attack my annoying neighbor with a hot-glue gun or hide in a porta-potty toliet to deserve it. The nodes send a shock to motor points that force your body into positions. In my case, the shocks force my hand to close into a fist (well as close to a fist as I can get anyway). It's interesting to say the least.
I saw the surgeon yesterday. I didn't exactly get good news, but it's not bad news yet. The skin flap he used to cover my stud is not gonna make it (that's OK flap-dude, just grow some more skin under your dying, patheticness and we'll be cool). I have an option to go ahead with the skin graft surgery. If I do, my healing time will be shortened but I would lose more finger. And it's another surgery. My other option is to keep waiting and pray that there is indeed good healthy skin growing under dying flap-dude. (Mr. Surgeon recommends this option). My patience is growing very thin with the healing process. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually miss running. I sleep on the wrong side of the bed to keep my hand on the outside and miss MY side. I miss wrestling and picking up my kiddos. It's hot and I want to swim. I miss knitting (oh wait, I don't knit). I'm still not able to hang my hand by my side and it basically hurts most of the time. And did I mention it hurts? Ok, ok, pity party over.
Overall, I'm doing well. Rustin is fabulous, my kids are wild but sweet and my friends call and visit often. I have a new splint that leaves me with almost zero functionality but makes the injury less obvious which means I can stop telling nosy concerned strangers that an Obamacare supporter bit my finger off after I punched him.
People bring me food everyday. They also bring me dessert. I love it and these meals are truly a blessing. However, I can't run yet and I've encouraged the kids to have lots of dessert every night. Because believe me, I will finish whatever is left the next day. And although I love muffins, not looking for a top.
So today, my sweet friend Chesley brought a little of this heaven over.
The kids were begging for seconds but nope, these little heaven cakes are all mine. I think Adalae wanted to punch something (probably me).
Thade's curve in his spine is not serious. And now I have some major ammunition to make him sit up straight. Any time I see him slouching, I just contort myself into the most unnatural position possible and walk in front of him. He sits up straight then, very straight.
So BlueCross BlueShield (or should I say Overhead Door Corp) really thought they hit it big with a member that passes every well check up with flying colors and has a anomaly child who's never even had an ear infection. Well, the medical expenses the Gradke family has incurred this month will make every premium payment I ever made worth it. Probably every house and car insurance premium payment too. Today Thade had his well check and we found out he has Scoliosis. We don't know yet the degree but he had an X-ray late this afternoon. We should know more tomorrow. I'm guessing his practice of hunching over the XBox for 12 hours a day will not be recommended therapy. So, I'm asking for more prayers. Please pray the scoliosis is not serious and that Thade can continue a normal, active life - with better posture.
I've started therapy and in addition to my home exercises, see the occupational therapist 2x per week. I asked for a parking pass my last visit and the valet guy was all, "what do I look like? a college campus security guard". And I'm like, "what I look like? money bags?". And then my BMW pulled up and all I had was my sad looking hand to wave around for pity. I still didn't get a parking pass.
Tomorrow I see my surgeon again and get the stitches removed. Not really looking forward to it. I wonder if they can put me under for that? My finger doesn't look better, but I'm hoping it's just because I see it everyday. I'm praying the surgeon sees something else that means no skin grafts, no more surgery.
On to less depressing stuff - kid pictures!
Adalae helps Barbara water the plants.
Reed loves "butter cake". He also wore this hat for 72 hours straight. Frisco Rough Riders game.
Thade made this boat with his granddad. He could only use duct tape and cardboard. Crazy, huh? He placed 3rd in the race and won best style.
Reed got to join the boys annual camping trip this year. It was so cold, the trip lasted an entire 12 hours.
It hardly seems right my first post in over a year is about this. Believe me, my life has been full of awesomeness this past year. The past week just happens to have sucked, big time. Losing a body part has created such a strange mix of emotions. One minute I'm hit with the realization that my physical appearance is forever changed. But then I remember it's not forever and in heaven, I'll be perfect and look just like Jesus. It's weird - although this freaky thing happened to me and at times I feel like I'll never be the same, at the same time I've never felt more blessed. And I definitely know now that everyone here on earth loves me just the same, freaky hand or not. Rustin has truly been perfect during this storm. My kids are amazing and Thade has actually started hanging out with mom again (on his own will!). My sweet, sweet mother in law, PJ, hopped the first plane to Dallas the night it happened to help us that week. My Mom calls me every day. My sister in law, Barbara, sleeps in cold, stinky, hospital room chairs with nothing more than a beach towel and takes me to Dr. appointments. Our friends bring us food and prayers and sweet words of comfort every single day. My work family has been so supportive and flexible with my needs. I could go on and on.
My sweet friend Kelli sent me this verse last week and I read it everyday.
There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! Romans 5:3-5
I know God wouldn't give me more than I can handle. And I may not understand today what I should be alert for, but believe me, I'm alert. I do believe this seemingly tragic experience is preparing me for something bigger than a finger.
Now for the medical update and prayer requests. And please pray because I promise God is listening. So my stud... (I think I vomit a little in my mouth anytime I hear the word stump now so I will call it a stud. sounds much more attractive, don't you think?). The skin flap the surgeon used to cover the top of my stud is dead. We plan to watch it a few more days in hopes there is new skin forming underneath and the dead skin will eventually scab and come off. Otherwise, I'll need another surgery for a skin graft. So please pray for healing. I just don't know if I can take another surgery right now.
I have my 1st physical therapy appointment tomorrow. I saw the therapist at my surgeon's office Tues and she gave me hand exercises to work on. Lemme tell you, it is painful getting this hand working again. I could really use some prayers for strength and the willpower to keep up with this therapy.
Lastly, say a little prayer for Rustin. Or while you're at it, send him a note telling him to keep up the good work because he deserves some serious love. Emotionally, I am getting better every day. And I owe much of that progress to my sweet husband who remembers to tell me how much he loves me, and often. After all, it is just a finger.
I'm a Pilates Instructor by day, somewhat competent housewife by night. I used to have hobbies but then CHILDRENS. I am married to the love of my life and somewhat charismatic Rustin Gradke. I have 4 kids that are wonderful sometimes but mostly they just eat a lot. I think God is pretty awesome for how he loves me.
